How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
