Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
