Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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