she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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