Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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