The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
