Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
