I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
