Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
