after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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