went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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