Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
This is my gift to your gina
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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