i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
