I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize