I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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