whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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