I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
