he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
my god I love twenty year old dicks
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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