Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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