I need help removing her.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
