...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
