He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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