The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize