oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize