Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
