its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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