Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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