I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
and i looked up. we had an audience...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I had to cum in my sink.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
