I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
