I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
