I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
