What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
