The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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