If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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