Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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