I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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