If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
