Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
