when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
