You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
