just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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