We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
pop tarts are not kleenex
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
