he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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