Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
