she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
