If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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