we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
