yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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