xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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