Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
