I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
