I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
