Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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