I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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