you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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