Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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