shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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