I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
