I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
