Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
