A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
