so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
